Thursday afternoon, and for the most part, I think I have recovered from the festivities of my nieces wedding. Kids are back in school, and I am back at working on trying to provide a stable environment for my kids. The gloomy weather is effecting my mood however, because for a brief second, it all seems so hopeless.
That poses quite a dilemma, because without hope, I really have nothing. I may be lacking on a lot of things, but if by some chance, I can just hang on to hope, then all is not lost. So, I am trying to improve my paradigm.
I realize that though my life is far from perfect (really who's life is perfect) I am so blessed. I have not only my family that loves me, (even if sometimes we put the fun in dysfunctional) But my ex husband's family loves me too. I have a great big list of people that love and support me with all the trials I have going on right now. Not many people can say the same thing.
I have a safe place to lay my head at night. There are millions of people that can't say the same thing. I have enough to eat, and judging by the size of my waistline, sometimes too much to eat. There are people right now, in my community that can't say that.
So, yes, it's hard raising my kids alone, (but am I really alone?) and yes it's hard being out of work, and not being able to hold a job right now because of issues with my kids. Yes it's not easy not having the Independence that comes with having your own place. But I am so blessed.
Truly my God has not forsaken me. Truly I am far better off in my circumstances than a lot of people find themselves. Even if I don't want to admit it, things are coming together, just not at the pace at which I wish they were.
SO, I am going to try to be more patient, more thankful, and hold on to hope.